Last year I posted an article entitled conversations with mum for Mother’s Day; so I think it’s only fair that I write one for Father’s Day too (about my dad, of course), hence the title of this article. The idea was all well and fine until I actually sat down with pen in hand and I kid you not, I sat at my desk staring at the lines on my notebook for a good couple of hours while trying to wrack my brain for memories of conversations with my dad.
I promise it’s not because I’m a horrible daughter who’s never had a conversation with her father. My dad is a man of few words, which in a way is a lot like me. I think that’s one of the things I’ve noticed over the years, as I get older I’ve realised that I have more things in common with my dad than I first believed. He very rarely joins in when my brothers and I joke and laugh with my mum over this story or that incident, but I know that he’s storing it all for future reference. So instead of ‘conversations’ with dad, here are some of my favourite daddy-daughter moments.
- When I was 13 or 14 years old, my dad scolded me over something that turned out to be beyond my control, and I cried while he shouted at me and left. But when he returned that evening, having found out that it was not my fault, he took me out to the cinema for a movie and dinner – just the two of us. I don’t remember him saying much during the whole outing, but I knew it was his way of saying “I’m sorry, I was wrong, I didn’t mean to shout at you earlier.”
- My dad is a romantic (like me), which is probably why he’s the one that appreciates my homemade cards the most and he’s kept every single one I’ve given him. I’m always super honored that my dad keeps all the birthday/holiday cards I’ve made and stores them in his briefcase with our birth certificates and his marriage certificate and other super important documents. I’m always amazed that he considers those handmade cards valuable enough that they deserve a spot next to official, irreplaceable documents.
- My dad never fails to call me up the night before an important exam/interview to give me a pep talk. He doesn’t usually say much, just a little reminder to pray beforehand and to just do my best. But somehow it can always calm my nerves and helps me to relax a little bit before the big event.
- When I was 19 or 20 years old, I did something that really disappointed my dad. But even through his disappointment, he still took my side and defended me. Even when my mum and brothers argued that I brought it on myself, and even when I admitted that it was of my own doing, my dad still said “no, it’s not entirely her fault.” He’s one of the only people who would not hesitate to take my side and come to my defense even when we both know I’m the one in the wrong.
- Whenever we go out to events, or on holidays, my dad will be the busy one taking photos and videos of us. When I was younger I used to hate this (a lot) because he’d stop us every few minutes to take photos in front of this statue or that monument, and when you’re kids you just want to run around instead of taking pictures. But I realise now that it’s his way of capturing what matters; in his eyes, his family will always be the most important thing to be treasured and cherished. It’s his way of putting us in the spotlight and letting us shine, while he stays behind the lens and quietly cheers us on.
My dad can be downright scary when he’s angry, which I think is because he keeps his emotions pent up and once in a while the bottle needs to be emptied and all those past issues would be brought up and released. But he can also be sweet and pretty cool, and I know he loves us in his own way. It’s tough love, but it’s a father’s love; and a father’s love is just as great as (if not greater than) a mother’s love. I guess a more fitting title for this post would be conversations with dad: words through action; and we all know that “actions speak louder than words”.
Happy Father’s Day to my irreplaceable dad and forever hero; you’re not without flaws, but I love you all the same and you’ll always be the most important man in my life.