the thrill of uncertainty

I quit my job.

Being self-employed, it was less conventional than handing in a resignation letter to your boss and giving your month’s notice. Rather, it was more like mulling the decision over in my mind for the past month… or six.

Even though I’d been thinking about quitting for a considerate amount of time, I guess it didn’t really hit me that I was actually doing it until I finished teaching my last class on the 31st of May, which went by as normal as it possibly could. That Wednesday evening, at the end of that final hour, I felt a little bittersweet; I was excited at the prospect of change, but I was also melancholic that this phase of my life is over. In the words of Rachel Green to Monica Geller: “I mean, it’s the end of an era!”

I’m going to miss all my students like crazy, be it the new ones who I’ve only been teaching for a few months, or the ones who have been with me since my very first class. In a way, those kids have been my partners in this journey; the ones who have been there through every step of the way. We laughed together and stressed over assignments and exams together, they’re the reason I had this job in the first place. Most importantly they’re the ones who made me fall in love with this job and made me realise that I want to keep teaching.

So why quit if I love my job so much?

Well, I started to recognise that if I’m to have any kind of advancement in my career, I’d need real classroom experience because while private tutoring certainly had its perks, it also had its own detriments. Plus, it couldn’t hurt to get to know other people in the field and catch up on all the professional networking I’ve been missing out on thus far.

This might be the quarter life crisis talking but there’s a certain uncertainty about quitting your 3-year job with nothing lined up, and there’s a certain thrill in that uncertainty. I have no idea what I’m gonna be doing or where I’m gonna be next month, and the possibility is endless – isn’t that exhilarating? Of course some might also say that it’s downright alarming; but I think when you’re still young, you should take uncertainty with a dose of positivity and faith. Faith that you’ll end up exactly where you’re meant to be at exactly the time you’re meant to be there.

Uncertainty can kill you or it can thrill you.

Ultimately, the choice is yours.


a/n: I wrote the draft for this at the end of May and was planning to post it in the first week of June, but because of one thing or another (read: job hunting stress) I got busy and didn’t have time to proofread and finalise it till now (ok, maybe that’s just a bad excuse and I just got lazy and procrastinated a lot – unemployment can do that to you ha.. ha..) Since then I have actually landed a job so my future is consequently a little less uncertain than what’s conveyed in this article, but the point I wanted to put across is still relevant so it’s all good *^.^*

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the thrill of uncertainty

18 thoughts on “the thrill of uncertainty

  1. Congratulations on your new job!

    It must have been daunting giving up your job and having no idea of what you would move into next. You took a step of faith and it worked in your favour. How many people have the desire to move on but choose not to through fear, rejection, financial responsibilities?

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  2. Congrats on being brave enough to quit your job. It is a really scary decision. I wanted to do something different with my career but never had the guts to quit my job until I got laid off and then used this as a positive and saw it as the opportunity I wanted to change careers.

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    1. I love your positive approach Emily! Even though it’s not much of a career change for me (I’ll still be teaching), it is still a change, and hopefully for the better. Thanks for stopping by my blog =)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. lenie5860 says:

    Rosary, I’ve been there and fully believe this statement is true: “When you’re still young, you should take uncertainty with a dose of positivity and faith. Faith that you’ll end up exactly where you’re meant to be at exactly the time you’re meant to be there.” You may shake your head and think “What have I done?” but the end result is always positive.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. heraldmarty says:

    Good for you Rosary. I agree with the value of learning to make peace with uncertainty. It’s far too easy to limit our potential by thinking only in terms of what is familiar. I wish you all the best in your new job!

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  5. Congrats on taking responsibility for your happiness and your future, Rosary. Too many people spend their lives in jobs they don’t like, or jobs that can’t/won’t get them anywhere because they’re afraid to take a chance. Congrats on taking a chance on yourself and landing a new job!

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  6. Erica says:

    Congrats on the new chapter. I’ve had many, “what have I done?” moments in my life. Always scary. It sounds like you have thought-out reasons for everything you did. I anticipate hearing what journey you’ll take next.

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    1. Yes, it is always scary because you’re leaving that comfort zone. However I do believe that nothing grows in comfort zones so don’t be too scared to take risks and embrace change =)

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  7. Regarding “real classroom experience”, I was going to say, “It’s definitely good to become comfortable at getting up and performing in front of an audience,” but aren’t you a pro at that already? 🙂

    Kindly keep us posted as to whether the upcoming “advancement” in your career is worth the sacrifice of the intimacy of private tutoring, won’t you? Good luck.

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    1. I’m not sure about ‘pro’ because private tutoring is very different to getting up in front of 12-16 students and teaching them something. With private tutoring I only have that one student to focus on, but with a bigger classroom, I’d need to divide my attention equally. There’s also the issue of class discipline sometimes when you put a bunch of kids/teens together in one room. I definitely still have a lot to learn and I’m hoping I can do so in this new job. Thanks for the good wishes Andrew!

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  8. I personally love chaos and uncertainty. I always make this quote on posts like this, it comes from the movie Parenthood, the grandmother is describing going to a fair:

    “You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
    Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
    I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing.
    I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.”

    Always remember, an end of an era, means the start of something new.

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  9. Yes, sometimes we just penury to get hold of a spring of faith and speculation outside our comfort zone. However I do conceive that nothing grows in comfort zones so get into’t be too frightened to get hold of risks and embrace variety =)

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